Neil Sedaka said ‘Breaking up is hard to do’ and he wasn’t wrong. Breakups are difficult, painful, and can completely turn your personal life upside down. No matter how long or intense your relationship was, there is always a brief mourning period following a breakup. However, breakups can be a lot easier than they are portrayed if you follow some basic rules to not hinder your progress. Read on to learn the dos and don’ts after a breakup.
DO
KEEP YOURSELF BUSY
The best thing about undertaking a technology detox is that you’ll find new ways to keep busy. This is the best way to transition from that heart-breaking period into a happier space. Use this time to engage in hobbies and activities that bring you joy. Spend time with supportive loved ones and find ways to keep your mind off of your predicament. Understandably, this is a tough time to go through; however, the feeling is temporary, and finding ways to compartmentalize the process by keeping busy is going to make moving on much easier.
DON’T
STALK THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS
Unfortunately, this is the first thing many people do following a breakup. They resort to checking their ex-partner’s social media accounts frequently, shifting their focus from themselves onto what their ex is getting involved in, and this only allows obsessive and intrusive thoughts to take over. This will result in the deterioration of your mental health. Inevitably, the only way to avoid these pitfalls is to take a break from the impacts of technology at this time.
DO
REFLECT ON THE RELATIONSHIP
There’s nothing wrong with contemplating the relationship and reflecting on the lessons you have learned. Reflecting on past relationships often gives us a sense of self-awareness, making it easier for us to understand our own needs. Use this time to discover what you’re looking for, what you can work on to make yourself and your life happier, and don’t ignore the red flags you’ve spotted in your previous relationship.
DON’T
WALLOW IN SELF-PITY
It’s only natural to allow yourself some time to grieve. However, you don’t want to wallow in self-pity for too long. After a week, you’ll need to start considering ways to boost your confidence and find peace again. Most importantly, avoid using distractions that aren’t healthy such as excessive drinking and clubbing; these activities tend to make you feel worse and only prolong your mourning. Instead, try to partake in healthier activities like exercise and make daytime plans where you experience the best of people. Drunk people at 2 a.m aren’t the best humanity has to offer and will probably be counterproductive in the long run.
Many people have second thoughts following a breakup. The main concern is usually to decide whether you could rectify some of the issues that caused the end of your relationship, or if you are simply longing for familiarity. If you are experiencing the former, reconciliation could be on the cards for you if you follow a relationship guide to ensure you are making healthy decisions to resolve the past and move forward. It’s important to make sure that you’re approaching reconciliation with the best intentions to make positive changes and not fall back into old, bad habits.
DO
PRIORITIZE YOUR HAPPINESS
After you have expressed your thoughts and feelings, it’s time to get back on your feet. At the end of the day, whether you want your partner back or not, the best way to succeed is to prioritize your own happiness. By taking the time to engage in proper self-care, discover what makes you happy, and find a purpose that fulfills you, you are not only being a happy, healthier person, but you’re also living a life that will attract like-minded people. After all, people gravitate towards those who exude positive energy. Living a happy life by yourself is all you need, and the people who are meant to be a part of it will find you.
DON’T
HIDE YOUR EMOTIONS
Keeping busy and avoiding feeling sorry for yourself should not be misconstrued as hiding your emotions. It’s vital to express your feelings and not bottle them up. But instead of reaching out to your ex, call a close friend or family member that you trust to open up to. Even if you don’t want any advice, sometimes it’s just nice to be heard. Have a good cry with people who love and support you.
Taking it one day at a time and implementing small but effective strategies will help you move on after a breakup. Whether you want your ex back or simply want to find happiness in any way you can, the steps to moving forward remain the same. The sooner you focus on your personal development and happiness, the easier the process will be.
