When you have been in a relationship for a long time with a partner, and you’re now single, getting back into the dating scene can be overwhelming. When you have kids it can be even more daunting. Dating as a single parent can be downright frustrating and scary. You are in this mindset of wanting to find companionship, but you have children to think about as well. The world of dating can be a scary place for any single parent, for they want to connect with another person while still protecting their children from another loss. We understand your feelings and want to provide you with some dating tips for single parents, because this chapter in your life doesn’t have to be a negative one.
Remember You’re Creating a Family
Consider this tip number 1: you are dating to create a family, whoever you determine to commit to will play the parent role with you.
No longer are the days where dating only involved you and another adult, these days you are dating for a crowd. Your children will notice more about your dating life than you, they will dissect that partner you bring around them and are sure to have jealousy issues when their single parent starts dating again. Take into consideration the personality traits of the person you choose to date, because the personality not only needs to mesh with you but with your offspring as well.
Maintain Patience When Choosing to Date
Consider this tip number 2: no longer are you first in line, allow time for your children to accept you as a single parent before bringing a new person into their life.
In regards to the children involved, try to maintain some patience when it comes to choosing to date. If you recently separated from your children’s other parent, they are not going to be so welcoming to this idea of dating as you are. Let’s face it, you are separated because the relationship faded long ago, your children however don’t feel that way. Allow time for the shock of the parental split to subside before introducing your children to another potential parental unit.
Invite Older Children without Force
Consider this tip number 3: give your older children time to build a bond at their own pace, rather than forcing them to accept a new parental figure.
Being a single parent to older children can make dating even more difficult to handle because your older children understand what is going on a bit deeper than the younger ones. Once you have determined who you want to create this new family with, extend an invite to your older children to come along on some dates. Extending an invite to have your older child to go to dinner or out to an event with you and your new partner will allow them to slowly accept and form a bond with this new person.
Continue Having Time with Your Children
Consider this tip number 4: take time to balance your love life and parent life, your children will start to pull away if they feel your new partner is taking you away from them.
While you may be head over heels in love and want to spend every waking moment with this new found love, STOP. Do not allow this new in-love feeling to take away from the time that your children need with you. If you start to allow your new partner to be the center of your world, you will find your children slowly detaching from you and they may even request to go live with their other parent. This is the last thing a single parent wants, it will totally crush you. Learn to pace the dating scene and take time to balance both, time spent with your new love and children to ensure this will be a long-lasting accepted change.
